Been Here All Along
by PrettyLittleEzrahaulic
Summary: The story of Mel's awakening, her reunion with Jared, Jamie, etc. Not sure how far I'm going to take it yet. Possibly past when they meet Burns...Possibly. This is my first Fanfic so please be nice. Obviously this is also my first summary so please just read it! Rated T just to be safe. Could probably be K but , y'know!
1. Wanda?

**A/N-This is my first FanFic so please be nice! Of course constructive criticism is welcome. I know it's short but the chapters get longer later in the story! Okay, I think I'm talking too much now...Gosh, remember I'm new at this, so give me a little while to get used to this!**

I feel alone. It's dark, I'm uncomfortable. Why am I not on a mattress? Where's Ian? I can't remember where I am. Where's Wanda? I wait for her to open our eyes. Nothing. I can hear, but it feels different. How do I call for her? I can't remember. Where are her thoughts? Her dreams? I only hear outside noise and _my_ thoughts, not ours.

I don't like this...I want her to talk to me. To call my name, and tell me where we are. Why won't she open our eyes? I want to see. Why won't she talk to me? I want to hear her-my-voice. I try not to panic, but where is she?

What's happening? Everything's okay, Mel. I try to reassure myself. Wanda? Wanda, where are you...?

No! No, no, no! I remember it all: sneaking out, Jared's all-too-real kiss, the No Pain, saying we loved each other, saying...goodbye.

Suddenly I'm Melanie again, and this is Melanie's body. I feel the cot under me, see the red in front of my eyelids, hear the breathing beside my ear, hot on my face. I know Jared is there, one hand holding mine, the other stroking my hair.

I know that if I open my eyes, he'll be there. I know we'll be together again, and everything will be just like it was before. I want that. But I won't do it. I can, but I won't. I won't accept the gift that Wanda payed for with her life. I can't stop the tears, though. They well up in my eyes and spill out onto my cheeks. Jared wipes them from my face with soft, gentle hands. This delicateness is what I remember from his touch before I was captured-so different from the feel of his hands when he didn't know that I was here.

I'm suddenly lost in another memory, though it's different when I'm the only one watching the mental movie. My mind takes me back to our little house in the desert...

**So...What do you think? I hope you liked it...I have a few chapters already written so if I get...hmmmm...5 reviews, I'll post the next chapter, 10 reviews, I'll post the next 2 chapters, so on, so on. So r & r if you liked it...or even if you didn't. HELP ME BECOME A BETTER WRITER PLEASE! **


	2. Weak

**A/N: Wow, you guys are amazing! Thank you for all the great reviews! **

**rRachie - Thanks for being my first reviewer! Even though I told you to do it, thanks for the support!**

**WandalovesIan - Thanks for being my first reviewer that I don't know and didn't ask to read my FanFic! You don't know how much your praise means to me!**

**mdgames - 3rd reviewer! Thanks! I'm so glad you like my FanFic.**

**Darkness. Is. Forever. Falling - Thank you so much for being my 4th reviewer! I love getting reviews and you know the more you review, the more I'll post...I have up to chapter 7 already written so review and I'll post them!**

**Jamey. Scarlett - 5TH REVIEWER! WAY TO GO! YOU WERE THE LAST PERSON I NEEDED TO GET ME TO POST THIS CHAPTER! I'm not sure exactly what you meant about acting 'that way' at the beginning, but if you want to explain in the reviews, i would love to understand what you meant! Thanks for your praise, it's so great to know you like my writing.**

**LeftHandedPeopleRule - Wow, 6 reviews in only about one day! Thanks for your praise! I am so glad you understand the length. This chapter is a little longer, but just a little. I've written up to chapter 7 already, and they seem to get a bit longer each time...maybe it's because I'm learning! I hope so! Thanks for reviewing!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Host-if only, right? All of the characters and everything else belong to Stephanie Meyer and her brilliancy!**

**This is Mel's memory...Just so you don't get confused!**

I lie in mine and Jared's bed shaking with chills, though the temperature has to be over 80 degrees. "Mel," Jared says, lying next to me but not under the covers because I've cocooned myself in the soft fabric, trying to stop my shivers. He gently presses the back of his palm to my forehead and rubs the arm that I have kept above the sheets. The fire erupts where his hand touches my already burning flesh but does not warm me.

"I'm so sorry, Jared. I...I...I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Sorry? You're sick! This isn't your fault, Mel. You're gonna get better, and everything's gonna be fine. I promise. Just think of me and Jamie as your slaves until you feel better." He kisses the top of my head.

"Jamie" I whisper. "He can't see me like this! Who's gonna take care of him?" My breathing becomes uneven and heavy. My body is weak and fragile from whatever this is, and my mini-rant about Jamie drained almost all the energy I had left in me.

"What about me?" Jared asks trying to sound offended. Though my back is to him, in my mind I can see the face that would match that tone of voice: still beautiful, trying to look hurt, but mostly filled with amusement. "What? You don't trust _me_ to take care of him?"

I roll over to face him, and reach my hand out to touch his face, using up the last of my stored energy.

He catches my hand under his and holds it to his cheek. "I love you so much, Mel. I promise you're gonna get better soon."

"I love you, too. I'll be fine here, just make sure Jamie doesn't go too far...Oh no..." I bolt out of the room and out the front door.

"Mel!" Jared shouts after me.

When I reach the back of the house, I double over, holding my stomach. I don't hear him come up behind me until he pulls the hair away from my face.

"Oh, Mel."

"I'm fine," I whisper "Just a little nauseous." Then, up comes my lunch. After I finish, I feel a little better, but even more drained than before. I begin to fall to my knees, too weak to hold up my own body, but Jared catches me before I reach the ground. He lifts me up bridal style and I curl into his chest.

As we near the door I begin to lose consciousness, my eyelids becoming heavy though I fight to keep them open. Jared notices my struggle.

"It's fine, Mel. Just go to sleep, I'll wake you if anything happens."

"Just...Just wake me when you guys are eating dinner. Let's hope I can keep some food down, 'cause I'm starving." I guess my stomach was emptied of more than just lunch.

"No problem."

I allow myself to lean further into his chest and close my eyes against his t-shirt...

**Keep reading and reviewing! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my FanFic! If you're like me, you're always searching for new Mel-Jared stories. I absolutely love them! I love the playful yet still romantic-ness of their relationship. The next chapter will be up as soon as I get...hmmmmm...I'll be nice: 3 reviews! Constructive criticism is always welcome, but remember, be nice! Thanks!**


	3. Us

**A/N: Ugh! This really stinks. If you didn't realize, this is different from the chapter three that was up...yesterday I guess :p. I was fixing some errors and accidentally deleted my A/N and ALL OF MY REPLIES TO YOUR REVIEWS! Unbelievable right? So anyway, if you remember something I had written, it would be a HUGE help, so post it in the reviews PLEASE! I'm just gonna try to rewrite some of the things I said! **

**Anyway, keep reading and reviewing! I'm thinking about doing a chapter from Jared's point of view...maybe...We'll see! You guys are so amazing, thanks for being so supportive. I'm only 13(about) so this is like my "first public writing" I hope you guys won't get bored with me! I also worked my but off to make this chapter longer...but if you think I sacrificed quality for quantity please tell me in the reviews! I really want to know what you think!**

**mdgames - I took your advice and worked REALLY HARD to make this chapter longer, so I hope you like it! Thanks for keeping up with the story! Your reviews really keep me going!**

**Heather - I'm so glad you started reading my story! Thanks for the review, I hope you'll keep reading and reviewing!**

**WandalovesIan - I forgot to tell you this before, but I love your name (although I would have done MellovesJared, but y'know, to each his own!). Anyway, I'm glad you got on today-or yesterday, or whatever day it was :p - Thanks for your encouragement! Keep reading and reviewing!**

**LeftHandedPeopleRule - Thank you so much! You know that really means a lot to me! I've spent hours just searching and reading Mel/Jared Fanfics, and then when I couldn't find any more I was like...WHAT NOW? Anyway, I'm glad I could be a source of Mared? Meled? Jarmel? What's their couple name? Or do they not have one... :p Anyway, keep reading and reviewing! Thanks!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Host or any of the characters. Everything belongs to Stephanie Meyer! Gosh, she's so lucky!**

"Doc," someone yells. "Bring the meds! I think something's hurting her!" I hear the pain in his voice. Jared, I sigh to myself. "Mel, I love you, Mel. Please open your eyes, baby. Please, Mel, I love you."

I guess that wasn't just a memory, but a dream. Why does Jared think I'm hurt, though? Then I feel the warm water running down my face and taste the salty liquid on my lips. I'm still crying, but he doesn't know that my body feels perfect, it's my heart that throbs. Filling with love when I hear Jared's voice, aching in mourning when I think of my lost sister.

I feel the fire again. It follows his hand as his fingertips trace the shape of my arm, burns my forehead when he presses his lips against my face. He takes my hand. "Come on Mel, come back to me. Mel? Mel, I love you. Please, Mel." His voice holds the same desperation as Kyle's when he tried to call Jodi back. He speaks just as _she_taught him to, repeating my name, trying to call me back to him.

I hear the impatience in his voice, too. I wonder how long I've been unconscious. When we were waiting for Lacy to wake up, I remember, Doc had said that it depended on how much chloroform she had inhaled. How much had I taken in? Was it still circulating in my veins, the chemicals weighing down my arms, making my body feel like lead?

I try to open my eyes, but even that small movement seems difficult to manage. I try again, harder this time. I give up, terrified that I may never get to see the face of Jared or Jamie or Jeb or anyone I love, ever again. Taking a deep breath, I push as hard as I can, one last try. My eyes open, close, then open again.

"Mel! Mel, I love you so much!" Relief. Love. Excitement. No anger, no impatience. Not even hope, for what he has been hoping for is no longer just a wish, but a reality. Jared's voice holds none of the stoniness it did in the beginning. Not a trace left of it. I smile, glad that just opening my eyes-though "just" might be an understatement-could return him to his ever smiling self. Then I remember.

"Jared," I breathe. "She's gone, Jared." When I struggle to sit up, he wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me onto his lap. I lean my head against his chest as he kisses my hair.

He lifts my chin to look at him. "Everything's gonna to be okay, I promise. Don't worry about her!"

Suddenly I'm torn into two. Half of me wants to seek the warmth and shelter of Jared's arms and chest, the other half disgusted by his nonchalance. I lean away from him, crying into my hands, but keeping his arms around me. Now I'm unsure whether I'm crying because of Wanda's absence, or Jared's words, meant to be comforting.

I know Wanda wasn't his best friend or anything, but she _was _mine. _And _it's because she was so stupidly selfless that we're together right now. "Jared, how could you say that? She gave up her life for me! I-" Suddenly, I forget all about Wanda and pretty much everything else, too. All that matters is us, together forever.

I feel Jared smile through the kiss, and am sure he is smiling from not only the heat between us once again, but also laughing at my lost words, burned to nothing by the fire radiating from us. I think of kisses we've shared in the past, before any of this had happened. They felt the same, but different from this one, somehow. I know the kiss is being fueled by the time apart, being enhanced by the absence of the loneliness neither of us knew had been consuming our souls-no pun intended.

Though my brain is somewhat fuzzy, I feel myself reach up, wrapping my arms around his neck, and tangling my fingers in his hair. One of his hands rests on the small of my back, the other between my shoulder blades. I don't think we could be closer if we tried, yet it's still not close enough. I let my right hand slide down to his cheek, holding his face to mine, never wanting this moment to end. Time no longer has meaning. We could have been there for hours or days. Still, when Doc comes in and clears his throat, I feel it hasn't been long enough.

Pulling away, I rest my head against Jared's chest, closing my eyes to the rest of the room, the caves, the world. I no longer feel the tears rolling down my cheeks; a soft smile now plays on my lips. Jared rests his chin on the top of my head. His arms are warm, still wrapped around me, making me feel completely safe.

"I think she feels better now, Doc. But thanks...for everything."

"Don't mention it. The more humans the better, right? And I'm sure Sharon will be glad to have her back…" I stiffen at the name of the woman who rejected Wanda so harshly. Jared rubs my back, feeling me tense, relaxing me again.

"Well, um...Welcome back...Melanie. So, how do you feel? Well, I suppose you feel great, having your body back after all this time."

I remember Wanda saying that everyone would love me here; accept me like they accepted Lacey and Mandy. Opening my eyes, I smile at Doc. I look around the room, taking it all in with my own eyes, my own mind, for the first time.

And that's when I see it. The knife on Docs desk. _Jared's_ knife on Docs desk.

**Sooooooo...What did you think? I hope you liked it! Remember, tell me anything you want in the reviews-I'm a tough girl, I can handle it! It really makes me a better writer! Keep reading and reviewing! Thanks!**


	4. Knife

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm back again with chapter 4-it's another long one! If you didn't notice, I accidentally deleted the last chapter today while I was trying to upload a more edited version, and though I had the actual story saved, I deleted all of my authors notes, and of course, my replies to your wonderful reviews. So...If you want, you can go back to chapter three and read the A/Ns! Anyway, Keep reading and reviewing and...here it goes:**

**mdgames - Thank you so much for your support so far. I love getting your reviews after I post a new chapter! Also, thanks for your reassurances. Keep reading and reviewing...your reviews really motivate me to keep going!**

**WandalovesIan - The compliment was nothing but the truth! And I know what you mean about the "hard to choose between two couples" thing! I feel the same way about long stories, so hopefully I can keep these nice and long-but still good!**

**LeftHandedPeopleRule - Thank you so much! I'm so glad that you think my writing is improving. That is really my main goal right now since I'm only 13(about) and still learning/developing my writing! I looked through the last chapter again and hopefully made all of the corrections you were talking about. If you take a look at it and see that I missed something, please tell me in the reviews. That is actually how the last chapter's author's notes got deleted-I forgot to save them when I re-uploaded the last chapter so I had to rewrite all of them :) I made sure to reread this extra carefully before I published it, so if you see any more mistakes when you're reading it, please tell me!**

**Disclaimer: I of course don't own The Host or any of the characters. It all belongs to the unbelievably talented Stephanie Meyer!**

"Y-y-you..." I stutter, stumbling off Jared's lap, backing up, desperate to find a place to run, to hide. "N-n-knife..." My eyes dart around the room, searching for more signs of my lost sister.

My back hits the wall, and I give up-give up on running, on hiding, on fighting, on Wanda, on me...

Sliding my back down, and sitting against the cool cave wall, my head begins to spin. Everything is so wrong. The most selfless being I've ever known has been killed. The man I thought was the love of my life has taken part in killing her. I was content, _smiling_, in his arms, just a minute ago.

Jared's voice interrupts my tangle of thoughts. "No, Mel, it's not what you think! I know it looks bad, but she's fine-that knife didn't even touch her." _Lies._

I keep my knees pulled into my chest, arms hugging them closer, my head turned to the side, staring at the floor. Footsteps. Hands stroking my arms. Fire. Good or bad? Conflict, confusion, more tangled thoughts.

"Don't touch me." I yank my arms back to my sides, allowing my legs to stretch out, half hoping they will keep Jared away but knowing I wouldn't have the strength even if my mind was working on my side.

"Melanie, please!" Desperation. It's layered thick in his voice, floating in a sea of tears caused by the loss of someone after you've only just gotten them back. _Good._

For a moment I'm surprised at myself. Didn't I swear not so long ago that I could never harm this man? But the feeling only lasts for a moment. I also swore that I hated the "parasite" inhabiting my body.

But she is no longer a parasite and hate could not be used in the same sentence as her name unless there was a "don't" before it.

"How could you, Jared? She was practically my sister. She gave up her life for me-for us! This is how you thank her? All the food she got for you, all the raids she made so much more successful. This is how you repay her?" Now I'm glaring at him, unable to tear my gaze from his, not out of love, but because of the strength that runs from my icy stare to his pleading eyes. "Sick." I mutter under my breath, just loud enough for him to hear.

A sudden wave of exhaustion hits me, and I think of everything that's happened in the past few hours: Standing by-sitting, waiting, whatever I've been doing for the past year-while Jared kissed Wanda, saying goodbye to her, waking up, moving my body by myself for the first time in over a year, seeing Jared, kissing him for myself, seeing that knife...

I realize the tears have returned. Suddenly I'm shaking, unable to control my sobbing. I rest my head in my hands, crossing my legs Indian-style. Tears soak my palms, run down my arms, streak my face.

"Baby, please! Look to me!" I can't, I won't. I hear Jared sigh and sit down next to me. Overflowing with grief and defeat, I lean into him, crying into his shoulder, and allow him to wrap his arms around me, pulling me closer. I hate being so vulnerable, so weak and helpless, but it seems as though nothing will ever be right again.

"It's okay, Mel, everything's okay." He kisses the top of my head. I'm glad he's stopped trying to convince me that _Wanda's_ okay. This is more than that. This is everything I've been feeling but not able to express for the past year pouring out, overflowing my eyes with tears and turning my breathing shaky after each sob. He rubs my back and arms, comforting me, letting me know he's there.

"I...I-" I begin to stammer out.

"Shhhhh, it's fine, Mel. You haven't been able to tell anyone but Wanda how you feel for a year. Just let it out."

So, I do. I let my tears flow until they run themselves dry, and the shaking subsides.

"I wanna be there when Doc buries her." I whisper into Jared's chest. Somehow I have ended up on the chair and on his lap again, without even realizing I had moved.

"Mel, no ones being buried! I told you, that knife didn't touch her. She didn't even come anywhere close to it. Though I can't say the same for Doc's neck..." He murmurs the last part as though he's slightly ashamed of it.

"W-what?" Confused, I lean away from Jared, so I can see his face.

"I used that knife to protect her, Mel, not to kill her! I love her, too. She brought you back to me, right? Ask anyone around here, I fell apart when I found out you weren't coming back. The only thing that kept me breathing was the kid. Other than that I was just a shell. Don't you get it? I'm not an idiot, I knew there was something she wasn't telling us. I followed her here, and long-story-short, ended up holding that knife to Doc's neck to make sure he wasn't gonna stay true to his promise to her. She's right over there in the cryotank."

I peer over to the corner he nods his head towards. Sure enough, next to the two healers and Sunny's tank, I see another one. One that wasn't there before. I sigh in relief. Then I realize what I just did.

"I'm so sorry, Jared. It's just...I feel like Wanda should've stayed; I just mess everything up. I'm so useless! I can't help you guys get food or supplies like she did! I-I...I'm not a soul, I don't know all of their history, I'm not selfless or perfect..." I break off, not knowing what else to say. Jared is quick to respond.

"To me,Mel, you're more perfect than Wanda could ever be. And what are you even talking about? Useless? I don't know about you, but a girl who pretty much raised her little brother since he was ten, found food for both of them, got captured by the enemy and _still_ kept trying to protect him, _and _spent a year stuck in her own brain without going crazy? She doesn't sound so useless to me...Now can Doc come back in? I think you may have scared him off." he says, the smile returning to his face.

I nod, laying my head against his chest and closing my eyes once again.

**I really liked this chapter! I was looking forward to writing this, and I think that's because it was sort of fun/interesting to incorporate the fact the Mel has been trapped inside her own head for over a year(I think that's right) without anyone other than Wanda to tell how she feels! Also, I really liked the mix of violent/emotional/heartbrokenness/whatever else you found in this chapter! Don't forget to review-It will only take a few seconds...It's that button right down there! You see it? NOW CLICK IT AND WRITE ME A REVIEW...Please? Pretty please? Loved it, hated it...I want to know!**


	5. Jamie

**A/N: I'm so sorry it took me longer than usual to update! I was having a lazy weekend :) So...To make up for it, the two people to review this chapter will have the next chapter donated to them! And, if you put a request in your review-anything, plot, characters, whatever you want to see-I promise to try as hard as I can to make YOUR chapter your favorite...SO REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!**

**LeftHandedPeopleRule - Thank you so much! I think this was definitely one of the most fun chapters to write-it was almost as if I could really feel the confusion and pain going through Mel. Thank you so much for sticking with me this far. Keep reading/reviewing, and I hope you like the chapters posterior to the last one!**

**WandalovesIan - Thank you, thank you, thank you! Wow, thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked this chapter. I think showing the correct emotions and just keeping the character..._In_ character is one of the hardest things about writing Fanfics. Your review made me so happy! I will hope to always follow your advice when it comes to my writing. Keep reading and reviewing! I hope you like this chapter and the ones that follow it as much as you liked "Knife"!**

**rRachie - Haha, thank you so much! Keep reviewing!**

**I know the name isn't really great for this chapter, but I wasn't sure what else to call it. Anyway, it's the real writing that counts, right?**

**Oops! Almost forgot-DISCLAIMER: I obviously do not own the Host or any of the characters. Nor have I met Stephanie Meyer...Just saying...Y'know, if you're reading this Stephanie...YOU ARE AN AMAZING AUTHOR! I HOPE TO BE AS GREAT AS YOU SOMEDAY!**

**And now on to the story:**

"Well, now that that's settled," Doc says upon entering the room once again "Lily came by to see how you were doing, but I told her it wasn't the best time...I think she went to go find Jamie."

"Sorry...again. At least I know I can count on you to keep a promise-as long as there are no knives involved, of course." I smile ad wink at him. Jared's arms tighten around my waist. He's probably wondering what kind of promise I have in mind. Maybe even trying to decide whether I've had enough time to formulate a plan somewhat like Wanda's "As long as Jared approves, of course." I laugh.

I'm grateful to Doc for taking the "forgive and forget" road, and not getting mad or calling me out on the fact that I _was, _in fact, told the truth, but didn't believe it. Is it bad that I feel slightly proud of myself at being able to scare Doc off with my...temper tantrum? Nonetheless, he seems to be in a better mood than I-or Wanda-have seen him in for days. I suspect he may be on a sort of high from the success of Wanda's extraction from my body, though I'm still not sure how long I was asleep for. I'm like a living, breathing success story. _Just in time for me to join Lacey and Candy's "Club", _I think to myself. _No, not me. Their Souls weren't their best friends. _Seeing how his failures crippled him and crushed his spirit, I enjoy seeing him so happy. The fact that I can remember my own name must have also been a plus for him, unlike Mandy/Candy.

My thoughts about Doc lead me to Sharon. Maggie and Sharon made Wanda's life the worst they possibly could. The scowls set on their faces like they could never come off. I wonder how they'll react to me. They'll probably forget that I know everything they did to her. Probably forget that I don't forgive as easily as Wanda-that I'm not as understanding. I'm not sure whether I'd prefer they welcome me with smiles, or keep the scowls and ignore me like they ignored Wanda. Actually, probably the ignoring would be better. I think I may lose it if they act like they didn't do everything in their power to keep Wanda an outcast in the caves…

I wonder if I could scare everyone in the caves with my temper. The thought makes me laugh a little, and Jared notices.

"What's so funny?" I guess we were all a little lost in our thoughts.

"I was just wondering how many people I could scare with my temper down here. Y'know, if they get on my bad side."

"Hm. Well, let's see. Jeb would get out the gun, so that's a no-go. Jamie...Yup. That kid is definitely scared of you sometimes."

"He is not! Wait...Really? I scare my own brother?"

"But you don't scare me," He whispers in my ear. "Well, your temper doesn't anyway." I laugh.

"Then what about me does scare you, Mr. Howe?

"That you're the most beautiful girl in the world, and any guy in his right mind down here would probably kill for you. That I know what it feels like to lose you, and any minute it could happen again. The fact that you could leave me anytime you want."

"No I couldn't." I reply. "_I _wouldn't be _me_ if I didn't have _you_."

"I love you." He whispers, leaning towards me.

"I love you, too." I meet him halfway, and the moment our lips touch, the fire once again erupts.

"I'll give you two a moment" Doc interrupts, coughing awkwardly and leaving the room.

I pull away from Jared, smiling again. "You're never gonna let me out of your sight again, are you?" I know it's true, even before I finish saying it. He just got me back, and though I know it's only fair that he should be worried about me, we both know you can't keep me protected for long. I'm Melanie Stryder. I run. That's what I do.

"Not for a second." He smile and presses his lips to mine quickly.

"Hey, how long was I asleep for?"

"Only about 3 hours. Why?"

"Just wondering. Did you leave?"

"Not a chance, Mel." I smile.

Just then, I hear footsteps from down the cave hall. "Mel!" Jamie yells, elongating my name into 10 syllables. I can picture his head bouncing up and down while he runs.

As my baby rounds the corner, I start running, too. "Jamie!" He runs into my arms, and I hold him so tightly I worry that I might be strangling him. Even this doesn't make me relax my grip. "I missed you so much. I promise I'll never leave you again. Oh my gosh, look at you! Your like a man now!"

"I missed you, too. You've seen me the whole time Wanda was inside you, though." He pull away, hopping up onto a cot.

"Still, it's different seeing you for myself. I bet your gonna be as big and strong as Jared when you grow up." He smiles even wider and sits up a little straighter at this.

Jared comes up to stand next to me. "But, there's no way he's gonna be as handsome, right?"

I laugh, "Impossible."

"Awe, stop with all the mushy stuff!" Jamie whines.

"Shut up, kid." He laughs, too.

"I guess some things will never change." I say, pulling Jamie into another bone-crushing hug and pressing my lips to against the top of his head.

As I begin to release Jamie from my arms, I spot Kyle standing in the entrance out of the corner of my eye. Immediately I stiffen with my arms still halfway wrapped around him. The funny thing is, my reaction is not because this man has tried to kill Wanda (me), but because he's so like his brother, who has definitely been more than kind to her.

"What's up, Mel?" Jamie asks, noticing how tense I've become.

**I know, it's not great but...hopefully the next one(s) will be better! **

**Also, check out my other Host Fanfic: Host High. It's pretty much all of the characters from the Host, but in high school! Pairings will be...drumroll please... Of course Jared and Mel, Wanda and Ian-a little later on, though-and pretty much all cannon! So...check it out! If it's not up tonight because it's getting a little late and I'm not sure how long I have until my mom tells me I have to go to bed, it will definitely be up by the end of the day tomorrow!**

**So, KEEP READING AND REVIEWING! REMEMBER: FIRST 2 PEOPLE TO REVIEW GET A CHAPTER DEDICATED TO THEM, AND THEY CAN MAKE ANY REQUESTS THEY WANT FOR THAT CHAPTER! SO COME ON PEOPLE, GET TO THE REVIEWING! **


	6. Reassurance

**A/N: **

**THIS CHAPTER IS IN HONOR OF WANDALOVESIAN!**

**You are one of my best reviewers, and I thank you so much for sticking with me and my story! Your reviews make my day!**

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**rRachie - Thank you so much! I'm so glad you like my stories, and you got a chance to review this one! **

**WandaLovesIan - I really tried to fit your requests into what I already had written for this chapter. I hope you like it! Thanks for being such a great fan!**

**DISCLAIMER-I DON'T OWN THE HOST, BLAH BLAH BLAH, ANY OF THE CHARACTERS, THEY ALL BELONG TO STEPHANIE MEYER.**

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**So, without further ado...HERE'S TO WANDALOVESIAN!**

"I...um..." I stutter, looking around me for nothing in particular. Standing up and pulling away from Jamie, I walk out of the room and begin to run down the hall, praying that Ian hasn't woken up yet.

"Mel!" I hear Jared shout after me, but I'm too nervous about Ian to respond. Too nervous to enjoy the feeling of moving my own limbs for the first time, of running freely down the cave halls. Too nervous to realize that Kyle has followed me.

"Melanie!" He yells as he chases me. "Melanie? What's wrong? Did I do something?" _Wait a minute…_

_ "Did you do something wrong?_ You mean _other_ than trying to kill me?" Now we are face to face. His resemblance to his brother is scary.

"I wasn't trying to kill you! I was trying to kill-" Instinct. That's all it was. Fist clenched, muscles tight, flesh against flesh. My knuckles connect with his face, stopping him mid-sentence. I am sickeningly satisfied by the red mark on his cheek, proving the strength of my punch.

"Look, Kyle. Wanda decided to save you from drowning, and then save you again from Jeb. She forgave you for trying to take her life. But, trust me, I'm not Wanda. And you can ask anyone here who knows me: forgiveness is not my best quality."

"Okay, I guess I deserved that," I laugh once. Understatement of the century. "But still, what does that have to do with right now? Where are you going?"

"_This _has nothing to do with you actually. So, if you don't mind, I sort of have something I need to do. See you later, Kyle."

With that, I am sprinting again, returning to my previous mindset. _Find Ian, tell Ian, find Ian, tell Ian, try not to break Ian's heart._ I don't even know what time it is; it could be three in the morning, it could be seven. Still, I run, picturing Ian's reaction to waking up alone.

Footsteps. Looks like I have another pursuer. This time I know it's Jared. He grabs my hand in an effort to slow me down.

"Whoa, Mel! Did you punch Kyle? Great job, Mel! Wait, what's going on?" He asks as I slow to a speed walk, tugging him along with me.

"Ian." I gasp, out of breath from my beginning sprint. He drops my hand and looks away.

"Oh." Is all he says.

I stop walking completely, knowing that I can't face Ian without Jared on my side. "Jared? What happened?" My heart still pounds, though from running or nerves I'm not sure.

"It's just...Well, Wanda fell in love with me because you love me and you guys shared a mind. Right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So, I understand if you have feelings for Ian because Wanda has feelings for him." He still won't look at me.

I resist the urge to laugh at his stupidity. I mean, really? I try it out for size: Ian and Mel...Again I fight the laugh threatening to burst out of me. Instead, I grab both of his hands, place them on my waist, and put my hands on either side of his face, turning his head so he has no choice but to meet my eyes.

"Jared Howe, I could never and would never love anyone but you. I understand where you're coming from, but Wanda loved you because my body and heart and mind love you with everything I have. I felt nothing when Ian kissed her. When he held her hand, or just touched her at all. My body was made for you and only you. _Wanda _loves Ian. But the body she was in didn't and doesn't feel a thing. Okay?"

The force of his lips on mine says enough that I know he believes me. As his arms tighten around my waist, incoherent thoughts swim through my mind. Among them is the name of the man I know I should be thinking about, though "should" and "want" are two very different things.

Everything seems to melt away as my fingers tangle in his hair, the fire glowing brighter and hotter than the sun.

"You know..." Jared pulls away, smiling the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. "It's still pretty early. Ian tends to sleep in...And you must be tired..."

I pull his head back down to mine, just for a second, grab his hand, and start pulling him toward his room, through the caves Wanda walked so many times. It's strange, the feeling of walking through them for the first time, yet knowing exactly where I'm going.

"It's okay! We have some time!"

"I don't think "some" time is enough to make up for the year that I've been gone. Do you?"

Suddenly Jared stops, pushing me up gently against the cool cave wall, and tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. He looks straight into my eyes and grabs both of my hands.

"Melanie Stryder, no amount of time could ever make up for the time I spent without you. It may be wrong, but if I had to choose between you and humans taking back the world, I would choose you. I would _always _choose you. My world fell apart when my brothers and my dad were taken, but I knew I needed to keep going because that's what they would've wanted me to do. When I found that note...I knew you wouldn't have wanted me to give up either, but Mel, you're everything to me. Sure, I love Jamie, too; he's like a son to me. But you're the most beautiful, funny, strong, independent, amazing girl I've ever met. And you are never leaving me again.

I open my mouth to say something, anything, but nothing comes out. So I drop Jared's hands, tangling mine in his hair and pull his face down to meet mine again.

"Never again." I murmur. "I love you."

**A/N: So...? I hope this was your absolute favorite chapter so far! I know not much really happened, but it was just a sort of break. WandaLovesIan, if you have any suggestions to make it better, please tell me! Keep reading and reviewing! PLEASE, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW GREAT IT MAKES ME FEEL! NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE UP WHEN I GET...3 REVIEWS! ONLY 3, YOU CAN DO IT! **

**NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE IN HONOR OF rRachie! By the way, you never gave me any requests for YOUR chapter! So review with some requests!**


	7. Lose You Again and Ian

**A/N: I'm back! Thanks for getting me the three reviews! I won't do that again for a while! Anyway, this was going to be two chapters that would both be made longer, but I decided to combine them since it seemed appropriate. I'm in crunch time here because I leave for camp in 11 DAYS! I'm so excited but I'll miss hearing from you guys! Hopefully I'll continue writing as soon as I get home! This is pretty "hot off the press" so if you notice any mistakes, please tell me and I'd be more than glad to fix them! **

**THIS CHAPTER IS IN HONOR OF...*DRUMROLL PLEASE*...rRACHIE! Thanks for being a fan of my writing! It means a ton to me, and I hope you like this chapter dedicated just to you! If you would like me to change anything please tell me!**

**LeftHandedPeopleRule - I'm so glad to have you back again! Your reviews always make me feel especially great. I'm glad you liked the chapters. I think I have a bit of Mel's feisty-ness in me, so I'm excited to write more about her temper, also! Please keep reviewing! There really is little that makes me smile more than getting a review, since my writing is so important to me!**

**WandalovesIan - I'm so glad you like YOUR chapter! You really deserve it for sticking with me all this time so far! I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much. Though, I wasn't exactly sure what you meant, I tried to pull out as many emotions as I could from Ian. Thanks for being such a loyal fan! Keep reading and reviewing (though I don't think I even need to ask when I'm talking to you! :) I'll miss getting your reviews so much when I go to camp! XOXOXO! **

**rRachie - Once again, thank you so much! I really appreciate you reading every chapter of my Fanfic, and hopefully I can get plenty in before I leave for the summer! I tried to take your request into account as much as possible in this chapter(more towards the second half) so I hope you like...no LOVE it!**

**Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I do not own the Host, the characters from the Host, or even Stephanie Meyer's creativity. That's life, right?**

**SO, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE'S TO rRachie!**

I wake up in Jared's arms, the heat of his breath on my neck, and the fire burning between our bodies warming me. I turn my head to look at him, slowly, so I don't wake him, but as I turn I see he's already awake, staring back a me. Smiling, I lean in to kiss him. The kiss gains passion and soon we are engulfed in flames. I turn the rest of my body around, so I'm fully facing him. Pressing myself against him, I can feel his heartbeat pick up, and I'm sure mine feels the same through my tank top. I pull away, and lie down on my back, trying to catch my breath. Jared stays on his side, gazing down at me, tracing the shape of my arm.

"Morning," He smiles, "Mel. It feels good to call you Mel again."

"It feels good to see you smile again." I reply.

"Are you hungry? It's still pretty early, so I don't think many people will be up yet. But we can wait for Jamie and Doc and Lily and..." He trails off.

"No...Ian! I need to go. He's gonna freak if he wakes up and she's not there. Oh no! What am I going to say?"

"Whoa, Mel, calm down! I'll be right there with you. Don't worry."

"No. I need to do this alone." I take a deep breath. "It'll be too much for him to see me with you. I mean...as far as he's seen and knows, this is Wanda's body." I kiss Jared quickly on the cheek and stand up, straightening my shirt and shorts.

"You're amazing. You know that?" Jared asks, still on the mattress.

"So I've been told." He laughs. "So, should I come back here after I talk to him, or do you want me to meet you in the kitchen?"

"Um...Are you sure this is a good idea, Mel? I mean, what if he gets mad and hurts you?"

"Jared, he's not used to someone more "fight" than "flight" being in this body. And watching him with Wanda...I just don't think he could do it-lift even a finger against her, even if this isn't really her."

"What if I just wait outside. Then if anything goes wrong, I can protect you."

"I'm not a baby. I can take care of myself. You don't think I can beat Ian in a fight?" I smile-a challenge.

"Mel, be serious. You know I know how amazing you are. I just can't lose you again. What's gonna stop him from slapping you like I slapped her when-" I cut him off.

"I don't wanna talk about that. Come, if it makes you feel better. But just...don't talk about that."

"I'm sorry. I promise I won't come in unless something goes wrong."

"Fine." With that I stalk out, not waiting for him to catch up.

* * *

As I slide open the cardboard in front of Ian's door, I see he hasn't woken up yet. Leaning back out, I whisper to Jared, "Not awake yet, just...wait out here. Kay?"

"Yes, ma'am." He gives me a fake salute.

"Cute." I whisper, retreating into the room. Not sure what to do next, I sit down against the wall, hugging my knees into my chest.

Ian rolls over to face me, "Wanda?" He asks, rubbing his eyes. I close mine, and shake my head.

"Ian…" I can't look at him, can't take the pain that I know his eyes will show. There is no question. I will agree with him, listen to his accusations and know I deserve every single one of them.

"No...No! You-she-didn't! She wouldn't!" I hear him come closer, gripping my arms. "Tell me you're still there...TELL ME!" He raises his voice, and I flinch, then shake my head.

"I can't, Ian! I can't, and I know it's my fault! Just...Just please, give it to me straight, I deserve it." Opening my eyes, I see him retreat back to the bed, shaking his head.

"How...how could she? Did she know I love her? Was that not enough?" He's losing it. I see it right in front of me; he's breaking down. I imagine Jared in his position, after reading my note, but I shake away the picture. This is about Ian, not Jared.

"No, Ian, it's not your fault. She's just too selfless!"

"You! What did you have to say about all of this? I'm sure you've just been so happy to have your body back, huh?"

"No! I promise, I tried to convince her to stop-tried to keep her in my body. Trust me, I love her, too!"

"I just...what was she thinking?" The tears stream down his face now. I feel as though I can see his heart breaking in front of me.

"She was thinking that she absolutely loves you, but she doesn't have a heart to love you with. She was thinking that she doesn't want to be in control of someone else's body. She was thinking that she doesn't deserve you."

He lies down on his back, letting out a breath I didn't realize he was holding. Then, flipping so his face is toward the mattress, he pounds his fist into the pillow. "So, what am I supposed to do now? Just move on? I can't, Melanie, I can't live without her! She finally made me feel like there was a reason to keep living…"

"I know, but…I feel like your holding back from me. I deserve it, I'm begging for it! I could've tried harder, I could've…"

"Melanie, look, I know we sort of just met...but I see how much you love her. I don't want to yell at you, because I know there's only so much love can do. You deserve your body back. Heck, _Jared_ deserves your body back!" I smile.

"Thank you. But...now what?"

"I guess we get her a new body." This makes me frown.

"She said she didn't want to be a parasite anymore."

"Then we'll make sure there's no one else in the body. We're humans, we're not so selfless."

"Okay, I guess we should leave as soon as possible…"

"No, Melanie...Mel...I don't need to come. I trust Doc and all, but if she's in a Cryotank, I want to be the one holding it. I don't care what she looks like." Smiling again, I realize how much Ian really loves Wanda. Wanda, not just her host.

"You know, it's amazing...how you can look past the skin and bones and find the soul."

**I hope you enjoyed this oh-so-important scene! As I said before, this is brand new, so I hope you didn't find too many errors! Hopefully I will be able to post as many chapters as possible before I leave on the 23rd! Does anyone have any ideas for a cover for this? If you haven't checked it out yet, my other Host Fanfic has a cover that I made, trying to do a sort of copy of the original host cover, but I'm not sure what to do for this one! If you have any ideas, just leave it in the reviews! ****Just a reminder for anyone who didn't know or forgot, YOU CAN REVIEW EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE A FANFICTION ACCOUNT! THAT'S RIGHT, SO YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE NOT TO HIT THAT REVIEW BUTTON! I'll take anything: constructive criticism, compliments, requests. REVIEWS ALWAYS MAKE MY DAY! THANKS!**


	8. Human Nature

**HEY GUYS! I'M BACKKKKKKKK! I'm so excited to be coming back to my Fanfics-though I'm really sad to be home from camp. My summer was...AMAZING-best of my life! Sorry for being gone for so long, I had a bit of writers block mixed in there! But it's gone now and I'm sooooooo happy to be posting a new chapter for you guys! Also, If you haven't already, check out my other host story, Host High. Thanks!**

**LeftHandedPeopleRule - Hi! How was your summer? I completely agree with you about the "rampage" and Ian. I just don't think that's really something he would do. I knew that line was cliche even as I was writing it, but I decided to leave it in there because I still liked it! Thanks for sticking with me over the summer and for the review!**

**WandalovesIan - I'm so glad you liked the last chapter! As I mentioned before, I had a little bit of writers block while writing this chapter, but hopefully it'll disappear soon! How was your summer? I hope it was great! Keep reading and reviewing, it makes me so happy!**

**rRachie - Hey Rach! Of course you loved the last chapter-it had Ian in it! I hope your summer was amazing and can't wait to see you soon! Thank you so much for being so supportive of me, I could not have asked for a better "Host Buddy" :)**

**Lovingyourillusion - Hi! I'm so glad that you read my Fanfic! I can't wait for the movie to come out either-it's like I'm literally holding my breath! I'm just so excited to see the whole book come to life on the screen! Isn't Stephanie Meyer so amazing? Anyway, please keep reading and reviewing! It makes me so happy, especially when I get new reviewers!**

**annaisadinosaur - Hi! Thank you so much and a million times over for reading and reviewing my Fanfic! I think Melanie cares too much about Wanda to just wake up and move on, you know? Again, thank you so much for reading and reviewing. Keep posting your comments-I love to hear them!**

As I stand up to leave, Ian stands, too. "Hey, um, Melanie?"

"Yeah?"

"Who...who found her? And made sure Doc didn't send her away?"

"Oh, uh, Jared was sort of following her all last night. You know, he's a little protective. So, he saw when she was going to Docs office and...Well, I guess you know the rest." I leave out the kiss. Not just for Ian's sake, but mine, too. It was just too real. "So...you okay?"

"Yeah, I just need a minute alone. Then I'll go get the tank from Doc, and I guess I owe Jared a thanks." He replies. "I'm glad I got to meet the real you, though." He adds.

I can tell we are going to be friends. We're a team-Jared, me, Wanda, and Ian. We'll work together to keep Wanda safely in the caves with us, to restore as many humans to their bodies as possible, to keep everyone down here alive, and bluntly, to survive.

I smile. "I'll see you later." I slide back the cardboard and step out. As soon as Jared sees me, he lets out a sigh of relief.

Reaching out to take my hand, he asks, "how'd it go?"

"Better than I thought it would. He wasn't mad at me."

"Why would he be mad at you? We all know how much you love her. No one doubts that, but you were trapped in your own head. There's only so much a human can take, especially when there's a chance to fix whatever the problem is. How hard could anyone expect you to beg her to keep you prisoner?" He slips an arm around my waist, pulling me closer. I lean into his side as we walk back toward his room.

"Thank you."

"Nothing but the truth, Mel. Nothing but the truth." I smile. "Hey, you must be hungry! You wanna go eat?" Now that he says it, I realize I'm actually starving, and my stomach chooses that exact moment to growl. Jared just laughs, "I'll take that as a yes."

Now heading toward the kitchen, my thoughts begin to wander (no pun intended). For the second time, they focus on Sharon and Maggy. Now, though, I'm thinking about what _my_ reaction will be, if I do see them in the kitchen. We all know my temper is...unpredictable. _Speak of the devil_, I think as we arrive, and see them already eating, facing away from Jared and me. He feels me tense when I see them. I take a deep breath.

"It's okay, Mel. Everyone will love you." Little does he know I'm worried about how I'll react, not how others will. I pull away, grabbing the hand that was previously wrapped around me. You know when you go to the doctor to get a shot and squeeze your mom's hand to divert the pain? Well, let's just say I don't think Jared had much blood pumping through to his hand as we walked deeper into the kitchen.

Maggy and Sharon turn to face us as we near a table not far from theirs. I guess they hand't heard the news yet, because as soon as they see us, both of them quickly turn, so their backs are once again toward Jared and me. Then, Sharon does a double take, and I know she can tell I'm back.

"Mel...Is it you Mel? Oh my god, it is! Everyone, Melanie's back!" She runs towards me, engulfing me in an uncomfortable hug. "We are all so glad you got that..._thing _out of you. Thank goodness it's gone! Oh, Mel, we've missed you so-"

"Sharon, stop. Please, just stop." I cut her off. "She was..._is _my best friend. And she's not going anywhere. We're going to find her a new body-one where the human is no longer there-and she's coming back to us."

"But, Mel-"

"Don't call me that. Don't you think I know what you did to her? I was there, remember? Or maybe you don't because you were too busy judging her based on what she is, rather than who she is."

"Melanie! She took over your body! She tried to force you out of it! I don't understand how you can forgive any..._one_ for that! You must have at least some resentment for her. It's human nature!"

"That's just it, Sharon. I've been sharing my body with a soul for the past year. Human nature? We all need to try learning the soul's nature, because it's a heck of a lot better than ours!" With that, I turn back towards the door, murmuring "I'm not hungry anymore," to Jared. I hear his footsteps following behind me, but I don't stop until I'm in his room. Throwing myself onto the mattress, I bury my face in the pillow and groan/scream/wail/whine.

Jared lies next to me, facing the ceiling. He doesn't say anything at first, just lies there next to me. Then he sees the wet stains on the pillow under my face.

"Mel, it's okay. We're gonna get her back so soon. We can go talk to Jeb right now. It's gonna be okay. I promise she'll be back in no time."

**So, as I said, I had a little bit of writers block when I was writing the chapter, but I don't think it's too bad :) Please keep on reading and reviewing! I'll post the next chapter when I get...7 reviews! That's not too bad, is it? Anyway, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!**


	9. Defeat

**Oh. My. Gosh. I just wrote my entire a/n and edited my actual story and worked so friggin hard on it and then...POOF: ALL GONE! You don't know how frustrated I am right now. Add this to the hurricane and snow storm and no power and school and all I want to do right now is sit down and cry :'( Sorry, I'm venting to the computer screen ;) I'm just going to rewrite the whole chapter and hopefully this one will be even better than the chapter before...Sorry it's taken so long to write, 7****th**** grade hit me hard and the hurricane hit me even harder! See what I did there? Wow, this is getting really long! Remember, this is the second time I'm replying to all of your comments so I'm sorry if they're not as good or long as they were the first time. On to the comment replies:**

**Heather - Wow, first comment! You don't know how much it means to me to see your response to my writing. The first always makes me smile the most :D Thank you so much for supporting, reading, and reviewing!**

**3 LeftHandedPeopleRule 3 - Can I just tell you how amazing you are? I mean really, has there been one chapter you haven't sent me the awesomest comment and given me so much support. Readers like you are the only reason I keep this story going. Anyway :) I totally know what you mean about Sharon. All I want to do is punch her in the face, but it's so much fun to feel that anger towards her! That sounded so messed up :) Keep being the AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING person you are! Read, review, support 3 3 3**

** - Thank you so much for reading my Fanfic! Every new follower, reviewer, reader, fan, whatever you want to call it, makes me so happy. It's the reason I think about Fanfiction all the time, even when I'm not updating. And trust me, longer chapters are one of the things I'm trying most to improve on. Let me know how I'm doing! :) Keep reading and reviewing! Thank you sooo much!**

**rRachie - Have I ever told you how awesome you are? What can I say? You are so supportive, and I don't know if my story would have made it even this far if you weren't reading it. We will forever be Host buddies ;) and the best of friends. 3 3 3 and I hope you get your power back soon-for both of our sakes ;D**

**KKataang4eva - First of all, would you mind telling me who/what your username is based off of? No reason, I'm just nosy :) Anyway, thank you so much! Thank goodness for another Jar and Mel fan! My friends at school all like Ian and Wanda better...I feel so alone ;) I want a relationship like that! Though our opinions of Mrs. Meyer differ vastly, words cannot describe how much I appreciate your review. Keep reading and reviewing!**

**movieslikemare - I am sooo jealous of your profile picture. And your username is so creative! I like you already! Anyway, though I don't know what you mean exactly by "history", thank you so much for reading and reviewing my Fanfic! I can't even explain how appreciative I am!**

**Korra - Such a pretty name! You were number seven, but unfortunately I had a bit of trouble keeping my promise of a new chapter after that number was reached. Still, thank you so much for reading, reviewing, supporting, just doing everything that you've done that makes writing these stories worthwhile :D Hopefully this chapter will satisfy you until the next one is up!**

**mariahsparkle206 - Thank you so much! Every new reader mean the world to me, and makes this all worthwhile :) Please keep reading, reviewing, and loving the Host hopefully just as much as I do! Have a Host day :D**

**AnieLee03 - Thank you so much! When I first wrote this chapter, I tried my hardest to take your advice in describing the emotions of the other characters. As I mentioned before though, that all went "bye-bye" so I'll try to keep that in mind when I rewrite it! And yes, Sharon definitely deserved everything she got from Mel ;D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the brilliance that is the Host, or any of the characters within it. Wouldn't that be awesome though? Just imagine life owning Jared Howe...Sigh :D**

**AND NOW...BEEN HERE ALL ALONG-CHAPTER 9: TAKE TWO**

"Uncle Jeb, please! You don't know how much she means to me. I can't stay here. Please. _Please_. I know her better than anyone. Who knows what she should look like better than me?" I should have known this was coming. Who would let poor Melanie go back out into the real world when she barely escaped it the first time? It started with Uncle Jeb, and a conversation that went a little like this:

**_Jared: _**_"Jeb, we want to leave ASAP to find Wanda's new host."_

**_Jeb: _**_"Who's we?"_

**_Jared: _**_"Me, Mel, and Jamie."_

**_Jeb: _**_"You plan on bringing Melanie back out there? Doesn't that kind of put everything we just went through at risk?" _ That's when the conversation took a turn for the worst.

**_Jared: "_**_I guess it's really not safe for her to come. Maybe it would be best if she," he glances at me, "you, stayed here. After everything you've been through, going out there just makes the chances of it happening again that much greater…"_

**_Jeb: "_**_Ok then, you and Jamie can leave this afternoon." _With that, he begins to leave. Like I would let them leave it at that!v

**Me:** "Whoa, no way. You guys can't be serious!"

**Jeb: "**Melanie, you know it's best. I'm just trying to look out for you."

**Jared: **"He's right. I can't lose you again, Mel." The pain is clear on his face, though he tries to hide it. That brings us right back to where we started.

"Uncle Jeb, please. You don't know how much she means to me. I can't stay here. Please. _Please_. I know her better than anyone. Who knows what she should look like better than me?"

"I get it, but I also get how much pain Jared was in when he lost you the first time. What if it happens again? What if you're gone for good this time?" This can't be happening. First I lose her, now when I finally get her back, I can't even come to pick out my replacement?!

"I'll be careful! I won't even get out of the van. She's my best friend, Uncle Jeb. You can't do this to me."

"You're right, Mel, I can't. I'm your uncle, but not your father. And I don't own you. Technically, this has to be Jared's decision." Ugh, right. The whole "who owns the body" thing. But wasn't this Jared's idea in the first place? He can't just change his mind like that. Can he?

I guess he can. "I'm sorry, Mel. It's just, now that I'm thinking about it...I can't lose you again, Mel. And the easiest way to make sure that doesn't happen is to keep you here in the caves. I promise, Jamie and I will keep your opinion in mind the entire time. You just got back...it would be my fault if something happened to you, and I was the one who brought you into harms way. I would never be able to live with myself."

"You can't keep me locked up here forever, Jared. She's my best friend, she's my sister, she's...ME! Jared, please. Don't do this to me."

He puts his hands on my shoulders, but I turn away, shrugging him off. Folding my arms across my chest, the anger becomes a physical thing, rising up from my core. It's like adrenaline, coursing through my veins, pumping through my heart. And just like that, it bursts out like an explosion.

"What do I do now, Jared? Sit here while my boyfriend and my baby brother go to find a new _body _for my _best friend? _ Should I spend the time staring at that stupid Cryotank with Ian and trying not to think about where in the world the two people I can't live without could possibly be? Lose my mind trying _not_ to think about how easily it could all go wrong? I know the souls, Jared. I've been sharing my body with one for the past year. I know how they think, feel, act...I can help you, Jared." I feel so helpless-like I'm falling, falling, falling, and there's nothing to hold onto on the way down. I've used every argument in the book. I have nothing left to make fix this.

"You know why I'm doing this, Mel. It's just because I love you…" He says it softly, as if to not set me off again. But I don't care. I've had enough of this arguing, so I slowly turn to head back to the room.

When I get back, it's all I can do not to scream and start pounding my fists against the hard cave walls. Instead, I decide to go visit Ian. I guess we're gonna be spending a lot of time together while Jared and Jamie are gone. And just like that, defeat has been accepted. I'm not one to give up, but this is Jared. And I've already used every argument in me.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~oO0Oo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

"Hey, Wan-Melanie. Sorry, that might take a while." Ian looks up when the cardboard in front of his door moves aside. Cryotank in his arms, I can't imagine he's been doing anything but staring at it since I left. "Shouldn't you be getting ready to leave?"

"Apparently I'm not allowed to go. It's not safe." Sighing, I sit down next to him on the mattress and run my hand down the side of the smooth tank. "She's so beautiful…"

"I'm sorry you can't go. I know how much that meant to you." I know he means what he's saying. He gets it. And though his eyes never leave her glowing body, I can see there are a million thoughts going through his head. About me, about Wanda, Jared, Jamie, Jeb. Maybe even Sharon and Maggy. Then I remember he wasn't even there. He doesn't know what already happened in the kitchen.

"I yelled at her. Made them both come to their senses." He quickly glances at me, before returning his gaze to the beautiful creature in front of us. The confusion is evident in his expression.

"Who?"

"Sharon and Maggy." I laugh, a cold, heartless laugh. "They thought everything would go back to the way it was. I would be her loving cousin again, ecstatic to get that "parasite" out of my body. Yeah right."

"Thank you. For doing the things she was to..._soul_ to do."

"Yeah, well, I'm definitely not a soul. Let's just hope I didn't rub off on Wanda too much." We both smile at that. The memory of her could never leave either of us. Someone who touched you so deeply, changed you so much, you can't forget that. Ian and I are both different people now.

I lie back on the mattress and stare up at the ceiling. "This is definitely not what I thought my life would look like." He laughs. It's full of irony, happiness, disbelief, bitterness, longing, relief. But no regret. Neither of us would trade it. As wrong as it is, as selfish as it may be. Ian and I are infinitely different, but evidently the same. And we both know that you can't trade someone like Wanda for anything.

Ian places the tank on the floor next to us, the first time I've seen him put it down. He lies back next to me, and we are more alike now than we have ever been. The anticipation could kill, stab a hole right through our hearts. Jared and Jamie, out there on their own. Wanda right next to us, but not really here. We both hold our breath, and until they return with her new host, neither of us will be able to breathe.

**I know it wasn't very long, but hopefully it was good anyway. Any reviews are welcome-EVEN FLAMES! I really want to know what you think. Ok that's it, just read, review, favorite, subscribe, tell me what you think! Love you guys soooo much! **

**~Hostandhungergamesluver**


	10. Finally

**Hello there, favorite FanFic-ers of mine! I know my A/N was EXTREMELY long last time so I'm just going to go straight into the review responses. But first, I just want to thank you all again for being...SO FREAKING AMAZING AND FANTASTIC AND SUPPORTIVE! You're the only reason I keep going. YOU make me love writing so much. And that goes for anyone who has ever reviewed for my story-yes, even you!**

**Rebellion7 - Wow! First of all, welcome to my FanFiction :) Second, after reading your comments, I decided to take another look at my second chapter. You're right! It was not very good, and completely OOC. So, I am leaving it up to you whether or not I rewrite it. LMK what you think. And if you don't reply...I guess I'll put it in my next A/N for everyone to decide. Anyway thanks for reviewing, I'm glad you like it! Keep reading and reviewing :)**

**LeftHandedPeopleRule - I don't think I even need to tell you how much your reviews mean to me anymore. But I mean, the fact that you cared enough to write a comment that long just makes me feel so good. I think I fixed the problem in chapter 9, so if you wouldn't mind just rereading the first few lines to see if I made it better, that would be awesome! I'm so glad you like my take on Ian and Melanie. What is your opinion of when Ian and Mel and Wanda and Jared have feelings for each other in other FanFictions. It may just be my love for the two separate pairings, but I really don't like that idea. LMK what you think! Thanks again for everything you do!**

**theworldisnotending - First off, LOVE YOUR USERNAME! Haha very creative and obviously true. Looks like December 21st was just the Mayan April Fools Day :) Anyway, I'm glad you like it! Keep reading and reviewing, it means so much to me!**

**the2ndAliceCullen - Thank you! I'm glad you decided to read not just this fandom but my story in particular! You really don't know how much your amazing review means to me. I'm so happy you like my story! Keep reading and reviewing-and let me know if you're ever disappointed with my writing. I really want to know!**

** - One simple response: Here's some moreeee! Haha thank you so much for supporting me! Let me know if my story ever begins to disappoint you. It will help make me a better writer, and I want to keep you happy! Keep R&Ring!**

**Guest - I'm so glad you like it! Keep reading, hopefully it will only get better :)**

**Infinity16 - Hiiiiii! Thank you sooo much! I try to update as often as possible, and hopefully that will begin to increase with time! I know what you mean, too! There are so many FanFics that haven't been updated in a while, and it's so sad when you realize the author probably won't be writing more! Hopefully I can continue to write until the story really is over and has a complete ending. Keep reading and reviewing 'till then! Thanks :)**

**MissS.D1998 - Everyone here has you to thank for this chapter. After reading your comment, I decided to really try and finish this one so I could post if for all of you! Anyway, I'm so so so happy that you read and liked my story. Having the characters too OOC is one of the things I'm most worried about, so it really means a lot to me for you to say that. Keep r&r-ing! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Host, or any of the characters in it, though soon I will own two tickets to the midnight premier of The Host the movie! :D I'M SO EXCITED!**

Upon Jared and Jamie's arrival, we found out that they didn't find a host for Wanda. It was like the prospect of their failure hadn't even crossed our minds. Mine and Ian's, that is. There was such a great possibility of them getting killed or worse, caught, it didn't even occur to us that Jamie and Jared could come back unscathed but empty handed."I am so sorry." As he whispers the words into my neck, his fingers trailing down my arm, it becomes clear to me that he shouldn't be the only one apologizing. "We tried, we really did. No one seemed right for her. And then when we did find someone...the plan wasn't formulated very well. Jamie shouldn't have been in the truck alone. It was just me and him, though, so I didn't know what to do...He got so scared when a seeker came to the window. Yeah she was just making sure there was a guardian with him, and he had his sunglasses on. But he's still just a kid, and he was too shaken up to continue on as planned." Jared trails off, leaving me with the picture of my little brother facing a seeker alone.

"I guess you deserve an apology, too." I say softly. "It was agony waiting for you to come back, but it gave me a chance to live in your shoes for a little while. The paranoia, the rock in the pit of my stomach, the looming prospect that you or Jamie might never return...I feel so stupid for trying to find Sharon. For thinking I was doing to right thing. I thought I was saving her, but meanwhile you and Jamie…" I sigh, "I'm just sorry."

"Melanie Stryder. I have been gone for 5 days missing you like crazy. And yeah, we all owe each other apologies. I owe Wanda one for the way I treated her when you first got here, though he'd never admit it Ian owes me an apology for making out with my girlfriend," I roll my eyes, remembering the rage I'd felt when Ian and Wanda kissed. "Kyle definitely owes you both an apology for being such a...Kyle, Sharon and Maggy owe you an apology for everything they said to and about Wanda. We all have someone we should apologize to. But tonight, we have better things to do."

Jared places his hands on either side of my head. For a second, my mind wanders **(no pun intended) **back to back in the cabin, when he and I sat on the couch discussing who got the bedroom. I let out a short, bitter laugh. It's strange to think how far we've come from that point. Not just with Wanda and coming to the caves, but in our relationship. I still remember Jared worrying about birth control that night. And now look at us.

His eyes are questioning, but his body looks like someone pressed pause, like it's ready to come down on me any second. I shake my head, wanted to delay it no longer. I've missed him so much. And it's only been a week!

Then suddenly, fire. It burns my face, my neck, through my heart and down my spine. Fire in my veins and in my eyes and mouth. The sparks ignite and I forget what it's like without them there. For a moment, there are no caves, no souls, no raids, or any kind of danger. My world, _our_ world, is as safe as it gets.

And then my mind goes blank. There's nothing occupying my thoughts but Jared's lips on mine, his torso pressed against my hips. It's like my brain has disappeared and is replaced by only my sense of touch. A completely in-body experience.

* * *

I wake up in Jared's arms. The only place I want to be. But we have work to do, and Jamie, well I doubt Jamie wants to walk in on us like this. When I turn around, Jared is still asleep. I softly kiss his forehead, his cheek, his chest, before getting up to get dressed.

**Well? I know it isn't that long, but I was really feeling the JaredxMel this week XD so I wanted to write a nice chapter for them. I think from now on I'm going to write shorter chapters like this one, but update much more often. LMK if you think that would be ok. Keep reading and reviewing and being awesome! Oh, and HAPPY HOLIDAYS/NEW YEARS! Have a "Host-y Holiday!" See what I did there? No? Ok, never mind :( Anyway thanks for everything y'all!**

**~Hostandhungergamesluver**


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